Past two weeks

The week before last, we took the time to go over part of the packet–the one pertaining to sentences and how to condense/revise them. Then, we looked at the four revisions paper and discussed the changes that are made from each one, specifically looking at the first paragraphs and trying to determine how tension is added as the papers continue.

Last week, I had her do the exercise with putting the paper back together which she found very helpful. I have to say, I was a little surprised at how quickly and deftly she was able to put the pieces in order and explain why they were in that order. This is only because I think in her papers, structure is one of the main issues. Then, we talked a bit about her trip to Europe over spring break and the paper that she would write before class next time.

Leap Day

We briefly went over the final draft of the first paper. It was leagues better than the first draft had been, though, as I mentioned during the meeting, I was a little disappointed at some of the revisions that didn’t happen. Perhaps that may just have been a matter of personal taste though–my comments did sort of feel as if I were inserting myself into the paper a bit too much, especially on a micro level. I think that there’s a lot of merit in her revisions and in coming so far with the draft. Perhaps I should take a more laissez-faire approach to the next paper.

Then we talked about the second paper. I’d had a few articles printed out which were related to one of the clips we watched last time about the influence of social networks. She didn’t, however, feel that they were interesting or that they would provide her with enough material to argue about, which is fair enough. We talked about some more options about the second paper and decided that neuroscience and psychology articles about decision making would be more interesting to her. Next week, I’ll assign the second paper based on these articles that I find.

We decided to go over one of the articles I’d brought because she said she’d started receiving a few assignments dealing with reading articles. I took her through what a typical article might consist of, how to read it, how to analyze it. Then we looked at some graphs in the paper and because it was relevant to an upcoming assignment of hers, we talked about how to write analyses of them.

Last Week

The paper got much, much better and we went through it with an eye towards a final draft–tightening up some sentences, thinking about a more precise way to make the argument.

After talking about the paper, we watched two TED Talk clips. One was about The Hidden Influence of Social Networks and the other was about The Lucifer Effect. The exercise for next week was:

Write a brief 1-2 page response about one of the TED Talks. What is the speaker’s main argument or arguments?

Some questions you may want to consider are whether you agree or disagree with speaker, what strikes you most about what the speaker said, whether you find what the speaker(s) said applicable in your own life, etc.?

Last last week

We spent most of the class talking about the first draft of the paper. I thought her ideas were very interesting and complex so we talked about how to make them cohere better in terms of the paper as a whole. We spent a bit more time simply talking about the story, analyzing it a bit further, which seemed to help her think about the paper. Then, I had her revise her thesis and do a little work on her first paragraph.

Day Whatever I Can’t Count

Things We Did Today:

• Talked about the second exercise which was reading two stories (“The Girl Who Raised Pigeons” and “A Temporary Matter”), summarizing them, and posing a few questions
• Talked about ideas for the first essay — I brought up the conversations in the dark business in ATM and she said she hadn’t thought of that and that might be an interesting topic to write about so I had her talk a little bit more about it
• I made a little worksheet with a bunch of tone words that I found on the internets
• It had a bunch of tone words because she wanted a more sophisticated vocabulary so I was all, “Huzzah, here you go. Ideas. Let’s discuss.”
• And also, I wrote out a paragraph or so from a few different stories to talk about Tone and Stuff. Had her read them out loud and then make notes and underline/circle things as she was talking about so that she could see/back up the claims she was making. Here they are:

For sale: baby shoes, never worn.

  Ernest Hemingway (Questions: what do we know about this character? how?)

There was a steaming mist in all the hollows, and it had roamed in its forlornness up the hill, like an evil spirit, seeking rest and finding none. A clammy and intensely cold mist, it made its slow way through the air in ripples that visibly followed and overspread one another, as the waves of an unwholesome sea might do. It was dense enough to shut out everything from the light of the coach-lamps but these its own workings, and a few yards of road; and the reek of the labouring horses steamed into it, as if they had made it all.

A Tale of Two Cities | Charles Dickens (Question: what’s the tone? what words clue us into that? imagery?)

Her doctor had told Julian’s mother that she must lose twenty pounds on account of her blood pressure, so on Wednesday nights Julian had to take her downtown on the bus for a reducing class at the Y. The reducing class was de-signed for working girls over fifty, who weighed from 165 to 200 pounds. His mother was one of the slimmer ones, but she said ladies did not tell their age or weight. She would not ride the buses by herself at night since they had been integrated, and because the reducing class was one of her few pleasures, necessary for her health, and free, she said Julian could at least put himself out to take her, considering all she did for him. Julian did not like to consider all she did for him, but every Wednesday night he braced himself and took her.

Everything That Rises Must Converge | Flannery O’Connor (Question: what do we learn about these people? their relationship? how?)

That’s even worse. Only degenerates go touring. Personally, I have been out of the city only once. By the way, have I ever told you about that particular pilgrimage to Baton Rouge? Outside the city limits there are many horrors.”
“No. I don’t wanna hear about it.”
“Well, too bad for you. You might have gained some valuable insights from the traumatic tale of that trip. However, I am glad that you do not want to hear of it. The psychological and symbolic subtleties of the journey probably wouldn’t be comprehended by a Paradise Vendor mentality. Fortunately, I’ve written it all down, and at some time in the future, the more alert among the reading public will benefit from my account of that abysmal sojourn into the swamps to the inner station of the ultimate horror.”

  A Confederacy of Dunces | John Kennedy Toole (Question: how is this funny? what makes it funny? how do we learn about Ignatius from just dialogue?)

But there is something else about that paper– the smell! I noticed it the moment we came into the room, but with so much air and sun it was not bad. Now we have had a week of fog and rain, and whether the windows are open or not, the smell is here.

It creeps all over the house.

I find it hovering in the dining-room, skulking in the parlor, hiding in the hall, lying in wait for me on the stairs.

It gets into my hair.

Even when I go to ride, if I turn my head suddenly and surprise it–there is that smell!
Such a peculiar odor, too! I have spent hours in trying to analyze it, to find what it smelled like.

It is not bad–at first, and very gentle, but quite the subtlest, most enduring odor I ever met.

In this damp weather it is awful, I wake up in the night and find it hanging over me.

It used to disturb me at first. I thought seriously of burning the house–to reach the smell.
But now I am used to it. The only thing I can think of that it is like is the color of the paper! A yellow smell.

  The Yellow Wallpaper | Charlotte Perkins Gilman (Question: how does the crazy evolve? sentence structure? what’s the purpose of the dashes?)

• Talked a little about the strong/weak essay, gave her the rest of it to read at home

I think a bit of an issue came up in making inferences about characters not based off of what’s in the text but off of personal notions of what she might do as that character. For instance, Julian’s mother is overweight and goes to exercise because she is depressed. Interesting reading of the story but probably not true and a little unfounded. Will try to get her to look at evidence in the text more.

For next week:

• Go over essay numero uno
• Do something more with sentence structure and punctuation and diction and how they’re important in analysis since the tone stuff seemed to be helping her with noticing things about the text

 

 

Day Five

Got back from my first class meeting. Rocky at the beginning (I floundered a lot) but it got much more productive once we got past the Girl/My Name stuff only because I don’t think she was very into the exercise? I could see the comprehension dawning in Tutee X’s eyes. Huh. Didn’t know it would feel that…fulfilling, I guess, to help someone understand a concept.

This is truly a “Choose your own adventure” sort of class. I feel like we made progress.

We went over that exercise first. Then did a really, really extensive reading of “Birthday Party.” She did most of the analysis while I tried to guide a little. She was quite good at it, better than I think her writing would indicate. Perhaps instead of her outlines, I can encourage her to making more annotations on the actual text. Perhaps then it might be easier for her to see threads and commonalities and things. Then, we read “Indian Camp” by Hemingway, talked about it a little, paying attention to dialogue, things you can learn about a character and how they can change throughout the story, pinpointing where that happens, looking at how a seemingly simple story has depth to it.

Next week:

• examples of strong essays
• words to describe tone, possibly other writerly words commonly used in analysis just to get a better/more sophisticated vocabulary
• maybe bring in some more short passages, get her attuned to looking at details, picking them out to support an argument

Day One

Taking liberties with the word ‘log’ by adding a ‘b’ in front of it. Because, God knows, if I’m left to write something on my computer, it’ll be saved on my desktop and then shuffled into an Inception-like folder of folders of other folders so, here, where I won’t lose it: (b)log!

I met with my 126 tutee today after a bit of a kerfuffle yesterday at Starbucks. (Note to self: buy coffee from Roche Bros.) Turns out we both live in Freeman and are both from Illinwaa, albeit from different parts. I could swear that I had a whole speech/introduction planned, but it’s like I see people and my mind focuses solely on the fact that I’m having a human interaction, not that anything of substance needs to happen during it.

What I gathered from this meeting is that tutee X likes current events and neuroscience, together, preferably. She’s also amenable to writing a paper about a story about current events or based on current events.  I don’t know of any stories like that. Maybe the New Yorker will have something? IDK.

Things to Work On:

• X should stop making those elaborate detailed outlines–sounds like trying to start a paper without actually starting a paper
• What’s wrong with passive voice? Unless it’s every single line. Doesn’t Word correct stuff like that? Maybe get her to read some varied essays or something
• Develop style of writing–big task, don’t think I can do this, maybe just give her lots of examples, lots of free writing, no more outlines
• Thesis statements–she apparently tries to do too much in them, perhaps this is a bit of perfectionism peeking out, IDK
• Try to get X to have fun with writing, seems like she thinks this is a little ‘means to an end’-like